Screwhead's Destiny
by Sproggo
Summary: When Ash tries to rid himself of the evil in the cabin, he gets sucked through a time portal, and finds himself in medieval times with knights, castles, and two witches from the future? Named Akko and Diana, they're immediately at each other's throats. But with the deadites on the rise, It's up to Ash, Akko, and Diana to work together and defeat the army of darkness.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hi there! This is an idea I've had in the back of my head for a while now, so I thought why not do something with it? The main reason I'm writing this is that I feel that the characters can interact with each other very well if done right, so hopefully, I do it right myself! (Especially considering the different genres of both series)**

 **Without further ado, I'll let the story begin; please feel free to leave reviews and enjoy!**

 **Prologue:**

 **1987, Midwest America:**

To say this had been a long weekend would be an incredible understatement for Ashley J. Williams. Everything was meant to be much simpler. Spend the weekend with his girlfriend Linda, meet up with his other friends later, make the trip to Jacksonville, and party all night long! But that was before everything went wrong before he found that damn book…

The book, called _Necronomicon Ex Mortis_ or _book of the dead_ contained bizarre rituals and passages meant for summoning demons, and it did just that. When Ash played back a recording of the translated passages from the cabin's owner Raymond Knowby, something evil came from the woods, and possessed Linda, forcing Ash to kill her.

After that, the evil force had possessed his right hand. With no other options available, he did the only thing he could think to do and severed his hand from his arm with a chainsaw.

After that, the daughter of the cabin's owner, Annie, had arrived with more pages of the book, and more people, which meant more demons. Including one that possessed Ash, which he was thankfully able to get rid of.

Once free of the demon, he had armed himself with a sawed-off shotgun and with some engineering, a chainsaw hand. Together with Annie, they fought off the demons and were able to summon a time vortex to send the evil back in time to where it came from.

It seemed simple enough, but then there was the issue of closing the vortex, it had already sucked up the evil, but it sucked up his car. If not stopped soon, it would suck up the whole cabin; along with Ash.

Which led to the predicament Ash was in now. He was trying desperately to grab on to something that could hold, but everything he grabbed onto had immediately broken off and flown away.

Soon he found himself holding onto the countertop in the living room which led to the kitchen. He then felt his body lift off the ground and pulled back.

"NOOOOOOO!" Wailed Ash as he felt the vortex pull him back. He held onto the countertop for dear life, until it broke off from its place, sending Ash flying back. The board was too big to pass through at the door, causing Ash to stop just before the cabin entrance. Stuck in midair, struggling to keep his grip.

"For God's sake," he cried, "How do ya stop it?!"

Suddenly, the board broke in two, sending Ash flying into the vortex screaming. He was spun around and around, and kept moving deeper into the vortex until eventually, he was gone…

 **...**

 **30 Years Later, England:**

Diana and Akko felt the wind blow their face as they rode across the moat to get to the ritual shrine. Akko held on for dear life as Diana faced the wind head-on, determined to get to the shrine and complete the ritual.

Diana may have been dead set on her task, but that didn't mean she had other things on her mind also. Like how Akko had been able to save her from the wrath of Aunt Daryl's snakes. Usually, Akko was terrible with magic, but somehow she had been able to save Diana.

The other thing on her mind was the unlocking of the fifth word of the Shiny Rod. After Akko had given Diana some encouragement, they had been able to restore the fifth word: _Sybilladura Lelladybura._ This allowed the rod to transform into Shiny Balai, the ultra-fast broom that Shiny Chariot had used in her shows so many times before. Using this, they would be able to make it to the ritual shrine just in time for Diana to complete the ritual, and become head of the Cavendish house.

Diana owed a great deal to Akko, without her she wouldn't have been able to make it to the shrine. Not just because of her rushing in with magic, but giving her the courage to go on. She had felt overwhelmed by the massive burden of head Cavendish, but some encouragement from Akko relit the fire in Diana's heart, filling her with determination. She could complete the ritual, she could do this!

"Look!" pointed Akko, "We're almost there!"

There, slowly sinking into the water was the ritual shine. They didn't have a moment to spare! Diana dived down, heading for the shrine. But then, out of nowhere, Aunt Daryl, and her daughters appeared on brooms and looking very annoyed.

"I'm sorry Diana," sneered Aunt Daryl, "But I can't let you through!" Daryl pulled out her wand:

 _Aeguil!_

Three shining white serpents with venom in their eyes erupted from Daryl's wand and headed straight for the duo. Akko screamed and waited for the attack to connect.

But it didn't, Diana had guided the broom right through it as if it wasn't even there. Daryl looked at her wand, speechless.

Soon Akko and Diana were a foot away from the ground of the shrine and prepared to hop off.

"NO!" screamed Daryl, who was now flying straight for the shrine along with her daughters, "I won't let you do it!"

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning burst from the Sorcerer's stone above the shrine and struck the ground. Causing everyone's brooms to suddenly disappear, and everyone to fall. Akko looked up and saw the Shiny Rod had reverted to its original state. Akko immediately grabbed it and turned to Diana.

"W-what just happened?" asked Akko fearfully.

"I'm, I'm not too sure…" responded Diana, looking over at her aunt and cousins. Just then, an ominous voice echoed all around them:

 **THE RITUAL OF CAVENDISH HAS BEEN DISTURBED; FOR THIS CRIME YOU ARE BANISHED TO THE PAST!**

"What?" asked Akko, "What does that mean?"

Diana was thinking the same thing. What did it mean? Banished to the past? Was that the curse the befell on those who interfered the ritual? But the only way that one could be "banished" was through time travel, which was only possible with the phenomenon of a… Diana's eyes widened with realization.

"Oh no." she murmured.

"What? What's wrong?" asked Akko fearfully, she didn't like the sound of Diana's tone.

Suddenly the wind began to pick up, confirming Diana's fears.

"Quick!" she ordered, "Everyone! Get behind something solid!"

"What's going on here?" questioned Daryl. The wind, slowly but surely getting faster, blew Daryl's hair in her face. Daryl threw it away, and she obliged with Diana and hid behind one of the massive roots near the shrine. Her daughters soon did the same.

"Diana, what's happening?!" shouted Akko, the wind now threatening to blow her off the shrine and into the water.

"Not now, Akko!" responded Diana, who was holding on to one of the roots for dear life. "Grab onto the roots!"

Akko didn't need to be told twice. She grabbed onto a set of roots and gripped firmly, trying not to be blown away. Suddenly, a bright light appeared out of the corner of her eye. She looked over and screamed at what she saw.

A swirling green vortex had appeared and was sucking up anything that wasn't stuck to the ground and was now trying to suck up Akko.

"WHAT IS THAT THING?!" She exclaimed.

"Just hold on a little longer!" shouted Diana, "It'll collapse on itself eventually! Hold Tight!"

Akko gripped the root with all her might, trying to withstand the might of the vortex. However, her feet began to slip, and her body lifted off the ground.

"G'ah!" She screamed, using her one hand on the root as an anchor to hold her against the vortex.

 _No no NO!_ Akko's mind raced. _I don't wanna go through that thing! What if there's something evil on the other side?!_

"AKKO!"

Diana began slowly walking towards Akko's position, careful not to lose her grip. She reached a hand out to the flailing brunette.

"Grab on!"

Akko used her free hand to reach for Diana's. She reached and reached but it was no good.

"I-I Can't!" shouted Akko.

"COME ON! REACH!" Shouted Diana back.

The bark on the root Diana gripped began to loosen and soon broke, sending Diana flying back.

"REA-Woah!"

Diana flew ahead and hit Akko, making the brunette lose her grip.

"What? NO! I don't-! G'aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

Before they knew it, both Akko and Diana were flailing around in the vortex. Neither sure of where or when they would be on the other side...


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Wow, been a while since I updated this, huh? I just had some time on my hands and decided to add to this. Probably won't add more to it for a while, but we'll see what happens.**

 **With that said, enjoy!**

 **Chapter 1:**

 **1300 AD:**

A massive explosion filled the sky before the sound of panicked screaming echoed throughout the land and a brunette haired figure flailed her arms in all directions before a loud ***THUD.**

Akko coughed and slowly raised her head just in time to see the dust clear and reveal a somewhat mountain region that she was unfamiliar with.

"...W-Where am I?" she asked herself. Was this still England? Japan? Or maybe even another world? Whatever it was, she had no idea. One thing she for sure knew was she wasn't at the Cavendish Estate anymore…

"Uh Oh."

Akko's eyes widened with fear as she jumped up from the ground. The situation had gone from bad to worse. She looked all around her hoping for anything that even resembled blonde hair.

"Diana?" She shouted frantically, "Diana! Are you here? Diana!"

This was terrible! Diana was easily the most skilled witch at Luna Nova and had even gone through the spinny green thing with her. So if anyone would know what was going on right now it would be her! Without her, Akko would be lost and never find her way back! She kept shouting out for her.

"Diana! Dian- Huh?"

Akko paused as she heard a massive boom above. She looked towards the sky to see a figure flailing their arms, and screaming. Akko knew immediately who it was. She raced towards the falling figure's position holding her arms out.

"Diana!" she yelled, "Don't worry, I'll catch-"

 ***THUD***

Diana blinked and coughed and looked around her. Searching for Akko. She had seen her on the ground while falling, so where was she now?

"...Akko?" she called out, "Where are you?"

Diana heard a groan from beneath her. She looked down to see that she was now sitting on Akko's back. Diana eeped and jumped up.

"Oh my!- I'm, I'm so sorry!" Stammered Diana as her face went red with embarrassment. "Are you alright?"

"Uhhh," groaned the brunette, "I think so." Akko looked up to see Diana offer her a hand up, which Akko gladly accepted.

"Thanks." Said Akko. Both of the witches now stood up. Akko knocked some sand out of her ear and examined her surroundings with Diana. They looked around for what must have felt like hours even though it was only a few seconds before Akko broke the silence.

"So, what happened?" She asked, "I remember we were just at the shrine, and then that green thing appeared."

"Time vortex." Answered Diana. "It's a rare phenomenon, only occurring every so often. Those who are caught in one are sent across space and time to any point in history."

"Wait, you said space-time?" Asked Akko before her eyes widened in panic. "YOU MEAN WE'RE ON ANOTHER PLANET?! This is terrible! What if, what if there are aliens? What if they want to dissect us?" Akko stopped suddenly as her face showed pure terror.

"... What if they ***gulp*** probe us?"

"Akko…" sighed Diana facepalming, "You're overreacting, time vortexes more than often don't go off-world. Besides, there's oxygen here which means we're more than likely still on Earth."

"So, we're not gonna get probed?"

"No, Akko."

"Phew!" Akko sighed in relief. "So then, where are we?"

"Hmm," pondered Diana, scouting around. "Judging by the current environment, I'd say we're either so far in the future that all other life on Earth is extinct, or at some point in the past where humanity is in its infancy."

"Oh." Said Akko that was a lot to take in. Everyone each of them had known either didn't exist yet or was dead. Thoughts like this made Akko feel a little depressed, maybe it was time to change the subject.

"We'll be able to get back to our own time, right?" She asked hopefully. Diana looked towards the brunette with sad eyes.

"I, I don't know Akko." She murmured. "A time vortex isn't something that we can just conjure up. It requires a massive amount of magic energy, and I don't know where we're going to find it here." She looked down.

"I really wish you wouldn't have come with me to the shrine." She said sadly." I should have left you at the temple. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that you came when you did, but I should have left you there. Then you wouldn't be caught up in all this." Diana kept looking down until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Akko staring at her with determined eyes.

"Don't worry about it, Diana!" She stated firmly. "You did what you felt was best, it wasn't your fault your aunt showed up!"

Diana smiled softly, that was the great thing with Akko, she could always make people feel better with her seemingly endless supply of positive energy.

"Thanks, Akko." Said Diana, it didn't quite stop her doubt, but it certainly helped keep it down. Akko smiled. Diana stepped up to scout around some more.

"Well, we're not going to get back just standing here." She stated. "Come on, let's see if we can find any sort of civilization if there is any…"

"Right!" Agreed Akko, stepping up next to Diana. The two began to walk, and as they did, both tried to think of their next move, or if they even had a move to make.

"... Maybe, maybe there's someone we can talk to?" Suggested Akko, "someone who might know how to help us?"

Diana pondered the thought for a moment, before giving her thoughts to Akko.

"It's possible," replied Diana, "but we'll have to wait and see if we find civilization of any kind. For all we know, we could be in the golden age of magic, or during the witch hunts…"

Akko gulped. "Hopefully the former…"

"Whichever it is, we should still try our best to keep to ourselves as much as possible." went on Diana. "I'm sure that there's something we can-"

Diana was interrupted by the cry of a stallion, and sounds of movement closing in on them. Both witches jumped and looked around them. Rapidly approaching them were men in armor of all sizes on horses. Following up with them came another group of men dressed in red robes and shackles. The one in front had a beard of red hair and scars all over his face. A majority of the knights now surrounded Akko and Diana.

"So much for keeping a low profile…" muttered Akko as she and Diana put their hands up. From atop, what appeared to be the leader of the knights pulled back his mask to reveal a blonde bearded face.

"Wiseman…" he spoke with a stoic voice. A graying bearded man in a cloak rode his horse.

"What doth thou make of this? Fire in the sky and only two maidens remain?"

"M'lord," said the Wiseman, "It appears to be the work of witchcraft."

"Witchcraft?" Repeated the leader, "then I suppose we now know why the deadites are attacking." He stepped off his horse, reaching for his scabbard.

"Wait!" Shouted the Wiseman suddenly, "I remember something similar to this in my studies! Yes! I remember now! These are the ones foretold in the Necronomicon! Two of the three who will deliver us from the terror of the deadites!"

"We shall see…" replied the leader ominously as he made his way towards the two, who now had lances pointed at them from every direction.

"Hey! Watch where you're poking that thing!" Shouted Akko before her mouth was clamped by Diana's hands.

"It would be wise for you to be quiet, Akko." Said Diana, "I don't think we're in a position to demand anything right now."

Diana then took notice of the blonde-bearded man now approaching them. Akko took notice as well and gulped nervously.

"...He doesn't look too happy to see us." she murmured nervously.

"Don't worry." whispered Diana, "If they ask us anything, just let me do the talking."

The bearded knight now stopped right in front of the witches.

"Identify yourselves…" He asked in a stern voice. "What is thy business in these lands?"

Diana stepped forward and bowed before the knight in a respectful manner.

"Greetings Sir knight, we bid thee good day."

Akko looked a little confused before realizing her mistake bowed with Diana. Diana went on:

"My associate and I are but humble merchants, making our way to the nearest village for trade of goods."

The knight raised an eyebrow.

"If thou speaks the truth," he inquired. "Then show me what thy goods are, which thou plans on trading."

Diana's face went pale before putting on an awkward smile.

"Ahem! Yes, well, you see, we, um, um…" Diana trailed off, looking for an answer.

"Well, the thing is, is that, well, we're actually not private owners. We are...employees. of a... merchant in the nearest village…?"

"I thought you said you could handle this…" whispered Akko.

"Keep quiet!" whispered back Diana. "We'll get out of this, just be patient."

"M'Lord! Look at what we have found!"

All three looked over to see a soldier holding up a very familiar-looking staff to Akko and Diana.

"Tis some sort of wand?" asked the head knight. Akko took a look over before getting flustered.

"Hey! That's mine! Give it back before I-"

Akko stopped as a sword was suddenly drawn before her neck. The bearded knight kept a firm grip.

"Remain still," he ordered. Akko complied with a nervous gulp.

Suddenly the Wiseman walked over to the soldier with the rod and gasped.

"...The Claiomh Solais," he stated in awe

Diana looked up towards the Wiseman in confusion. Did he know about the Shiny Rod? But how? There were no other magic users in sight. Maybe there was a clan in a nearby village? The bearded knight spoke up.

"You've seen this staff before, Wiseman?"

"Only in pictures, Sir Arthur." replied the Wiseman. "Pictures in the book of Ex Mortis. Pictures that foretold of..." The Wiseman then turned to the two witches.

"This staff, where didst thou find it?"

Akko spoke up.

"I found it the woods near Luna Nova," she explained. "It's the same wand that belonged to Shiny- Mmph! Mmph!"

Diana cupped her hands over Atusko's mouth; still with some loose hope that they could get out of this situation without a fight.

"Oh, you must forgive my associate!" intervened Diana with an awkward smile. "She was dropped on her head as an infant, and has been spouting nonsense ever since!"

Akko shot Diana a glare, showing her offense at the statement. Diana whispered into Akko's ear.

"I don't actually mean it, just play along until we can get out of here." Diana then turned back to Arthur.

"Well, We don't have much else to say, good sir," she smiled once more, "So if you don't mind, then we'll be-" Diana stopped as she heard a sword being unsheathed behind her.

"Thou made mention of this wand's previous owner," spoke Arthur. "Who doth thou refer to?"

Akko looked to the knight, wondering what the right response was. Tell the truth and risk being burned at the stake? Or just play along with Diana's little game?

"I shall ask again, who was this wand's previous owner?" Arthur began to move closer. "And thou will speak truthfully."

Akko began to panic.

"Oh! Well I uh, uh, Well, Y'know it's funny... Uh…"

"Akko."

Akko turned to Diana, backing up along with the brunette. She pointed to her smaller wand on her belt.

"On the count of three, I'll make a distraction, and we run. Okay?"

Akko nodded and turned back to Arthur, getting ever closer to the two. Akko's nervousness all the while was bubbling at the brim.

"Ready?" whispered Diana, putting her hand over her wand, and quietly counting out loud:

"One… Tw-"

 ***BOOM***

Everyone looked up to see another explosion fill the sky, followed by a figure failing their arms in a panic, a dead tree, and a cream-colored automobile?

Luckily most were able to clear the way before each came down with a ***CRASH***. The man, who many could now see only had one hand, coughed to himself before groaning. Akko and Diana looked to each other in shared confusion.

"...Was that us?" asked Akko.

"I don't think so…" replied Diana. "I didn't pull out my wand…" She then looked over to the cream-colored car, as some of the other soldiers began poking at it, commenting that it was a "strong piece of armor".

"Diana," said Akko "Look at his hand!"

Diana looked to the man, still groaning, but that was the least of Diana's thoughts when she saw the blood-stained red chainsaw that had been in the place of his right hand, and what appeared to be a shotgun holstered away to a strap on his back.

"I don't think he's from around here…" spoke Akko. "Maybe he can help us get back?"

"Perhaps," agreed Diana, before taking notice of Arthur making his way towards the man. "At least until we see what they do with him first…"

…

Ash coughed and spluttered, before slowly rising to the ground and looking around. Surrounding him were men in armor on horses. So that portal thing sent him back in time? But that thing was only meant to take the evil, not him too!

" _Great, now what the hell do I…_ "

Ash stopped talking when he took notice of two girls staring at him curiously. He showed them an exhausted scowl.

"Who the hell are you?"

Both jumped at the sudden voice, the short one began to fumble her words.

"B'wah! Well, uh, you see it's uh, um, well…"

"Stand aside."

Both girls were shoved aside by a knight with a beard. Ash backed up, clearly not in the mood for a fight.

"Hey now!" he spoke up, "Easy there Chief! I-I ain't lookin' for trouble!"

But Arthur wasn't listening, he slowly began to unsheath his sword before…

"Wait!"

Everyone stopped and turned to face the Wiseman, who was now sprinting towards the four of them.

"M'lord," he spoke, catching his breath. "M'lord, don't you understand? The prophecy! The one foretold in the pages of the Necronomicon!" He then gestured to the two witches and Ash. "A noble warrior wielding a strange blade, and the Claimonh Solais bringing with it two witches! M'lord these are the ones who will deliver us from the deadites!"

All four of them looked to the Wiseman in confusion. Akko tilted her head.

"Huh?"

Arthur rolled his eyes.

"These buffoons?" he snorted, "Not likely." He then turned to his soldiers.

"They are Henry's servants!"

Arthur then gestured over to one of the higher peaks, where several men with red hair and tunics were in chains.

"I say, to the pits with them!"

The soldiers cheered in agreement, while all three of the time travellers shared a nervous gulp.

But before any of them could run for it, the soldiers were on them like flies. All three struggled against them, but it was no good.

Ash cursed and shouted as the men pulled him away, causing his chainsaw to fall off. Meanwhile, Akko and Diana could only panic as the began getting dragged away themselves.

"W-Wait!" panicked Akko, "Y-You got the wrong idea! I don't even know anybody named Henry!"

But her cries fell on deaf ears as the soldiers laughed and mocked all three of them. It wasn't long before they joined Henry and his men in chains. Akko whined as Ash groaned angrily. Meanwhile, Diana could only scowl as she felt the metal chains cuff her hands.

" _This is going to be a lot harder than I thought…_ "

No one noticed the Wiseman pick up the chainsaw, and Shiny Rod...


End file.
